


Tears Only For Him

by hahyou_thought



Series: My favorite eggs and pineapples [3]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26635888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hahyou_thought/pseuds/hahyou_thought
Summary: Kimiko is processing what just happened. She feels so many emotions pain, guilt, anger, sadness and she hates it.She wishes he was here.Time: after ep5 (s2)
Relationships: The Female | Kimiko/The Frenchman
Series: My favorite eggs and pineapples [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931572
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	Tears Only For Him

"You know what? Fuck this. Fuck you. Go be a monster."

These words echoed through Kimikos head the whole way back to their hideout. She wasn't sure why she was heading back there, but she didn't have anywhere else to go. She supposed... It's the only safe place she has right now. Home. 

She wasn't crying or running. She was just walking slowly back to their hole in the ground. Alone. 

People were looking at her weirdly, she supposed it was because she was alone or because she didn't act like them, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get back, to hide under the table and hope she feels better. Safer. 

As she was pushing through the crowds her whole time with the Boys and Frenchie, replayed in her head. She wasn't sure why, and at the start, she liked it... But.. When it got to finding her brother it all went wrong.

It was all her fault.

If it weren't for her, they wouldn't have had to dealed with Kenji, they wouldn't have to deal with Mesmer and get exposed... Guilt.

That's what she felt. Guilt.

She started slowing down. What if she just doesn't go back? She looks at her feet and then her hands. She's killed so many and yet... She feels like she hurt the people closest to her the most... Pain.

Not hers. No. But the pain of her loved ones, the pain she brought.

She stopped.

They wouldn't miss her... Would they? All she's ever done was bring them problems, so why go back? To bring more of them?

She was about to change direction when she heard a familiar voice.

"Kimiko?"

She quickly turns to the person in question, not sure about her emotions at the moment.

"Oh thank god I found you!"

When she saw the figure she was a bit disappointed, it was Hughie. Some secret part of her hoped, wished it would have been Frenchie and she hated that her heart ached because it wasn't him.

"You and Frenchie weren't at the safe house when we got back and it's been some time now, so i got worried. A-are you okay? Where's Frenchie?"

Kimiko flinched at the question, but quickly regained her composer. She brought her shoulders up and down as if to indicate she didn't know. Which wasn't lying, she really didn't have any idea where he had gone to, she thought he went back as well but it looks like he had other plans. Hughie slowly nodded.

"Oh- okay, well.. We should head back, right? Wouldn't want anyone finding out who we are.."

He said with a sad smile. It felt bitter. She felt bitter. Everytime Frenchie would have smiled her mouth felt sweet and her heart light, it's like it made all the problems in the world disappear. But this.. Hughie smile just didn't seem right, she thought about this the whole way back. Why did Frenchie make her feel like that? It's like the table never made her feel safe but rather knowing about Frenchie being present did. She couldn't quite put a finger on it. Sadness.

Suddenly all the guilt, pain and anger swirled into sadness. The emotion she hated the most.

At first she didn't quite know why she was sad, but the more she thought about it, the more clear it was.

She was missing Frenchie.

There was nothing romantic about it, she just, wanted to be in his presence, safe. Home. Not alone.

Although the man hurt her, she also hurt him. All he was trying was to help her, but she just pushed him away like a child pushes away broccoli.

They hurt each other, yes, but they've also been hurt by other people. That's why they got the connection, past trauma. For the first time in forever the had someone to relate to, talk to. But for one reason or another, they both blew it..

She should have thought him her language... Maybe then...

"About time you got back. What the- Where the fuck is Frenchie?"

Kimiko's thoughts were paused, as she realized they came back. MM speaking to them.

"Ugh, yeah. We didn't see him and she said she didn't know where he was. Also I thought he'd be back here by now."

"Yeah well so did I, but looks like that motherfucker ain't coming home soon."

Kimiko felt at fault. He probably didn't want to come back because of her...

"What about Butcher?"

"Nothing, it's like those two think we're on vacation on something."

"Don't worry I'm sure their fine.. I hope."

After that Kimiko went to her room. She was about to go under the table when she remembered something.

She started digging under her bed for something. It took a minute, but finally she pulled out a yellow zip-up hoodie. That one she got from Frenchie after she saved him.

"Here you go, mon coeur. So you won't get cold. You can keep it."

It's true they left it at that dusty motel when they got kidnapped, but Frenchie saw how much she missed it so he made her a promise to get it back for her.

And he did.

She hugged that yellow piece of fabric and cuddled under the table. She wrapped it around herself, as if someone was holding her. Kimiko didn't want to admit it to herself but she wished it was Frenchie. He made her feel loved... Special.

She wished she could do the same, but she could not speak or cook, and she wasn't really good at the whole affection thing. But what she knew was, that someday, somehow, she was going to repay him. Show him her gratitude, even if right now, things weren't too good between them.

Now she was crying.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! It means a lot to me! Every kudos every comment make me so happy and it also notifies me that people are enjoying my oneshots and so I'm able to continue them❤️
> 
> Anyway i wrote this like 3 hours before the next episode comes out bc i couldn't sleep so if there's any mistakes, please notify me!
> 
> Lost of love from Aj❤️  
> Stay safe


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